A steady gaze...

This past weekend I attended a discipleship conference called Entrust. To give a brief synopsis, you enroll in a really cool program that equips you to make disciples. The Entrust weekends are open to anyone and they study about Jesus and the disciples He made that turned the world upside down! You should click here to find out more about it: http://entrust.precept.org/

A local pastor was the guest speaker and he shared something very insightful. He talked about the context of how boys were trained and discipled under Rabbis in the times of Jesus. Around the age of 15 if they were considered "elite" they would have the opportunity to go to a Rabbi & ask to follow him. The Rabbi would take the request into deep consideration. If the Rabbi consented the boy would follow the Rabbi for 15 years, learning how to do everything just like the Rabbi.

However, if there were boys who were not considered elite and their family was not financially stable the boys would return home and work in their family's business whether it be tent making, fishing etc. They would not follow a Rabbi and they would not be considered of the "elite" group because they were working in their family's business. The interesting and insightful piece to me was when Jesus began His ministry and chose His disciples. He walked on the sea shore and calls out to James & John.... fishermen. Some of the disciples that Jesus chose weren't considered to be elite!

As the pastor was talking through this I just sat there, speechless. Those of you who know me know that's a rare occurrence ;) I sat there trying not to break down and cry my eyes out while I sensed that God was moving in my spirit, bringing about deep levels of healing and restoration as I'm looking at Jesus' example.

You may wonder why this is such a big deal to me. Well, since I'm sure you asked...

I've never been one to be super good or talented at anything (and that's okay!). I'm also not one that is generally picked to be a part of things or to do "special" things (and that's okay too!). Until recently I wouldn't have been able to truthfully say that it's okay. Honestly there are still some days it is a struggle. There can be so much pressure to be perfect or to be exceptionally good at most things or even to get yourself into the distinctly elite crowd of people who are somehow better than you, even though we are all sinners in need of grace. But Jesus doesn't require that. 

To get into the Word and to see that Jesus chose people who weren't considered to be elite, and yet they changed the world was encouraging and I know a timely message from Him to me. But I had to ask myself: why did they change the world?

I honestly believe the answer is because they followed Jesus, keeping their gaze on Him.

 "Follow me, and I'll make you fishers of men...." 



They chose to follow Him, love Him, proclaim Him, suffer for Him, and die for Him. Their hearts were stayed on Him. They didn't have anything to offer really, other than a surrendered heart that repeatedly said "thy kingdom come". When God uses us it isn't because of anything we do or the level of importance that we carry. He uses us because it's who He is: a God that saved us because He loves us, doesn't need us, but chooses to use us to proclaim Him.

Colossians 2:10 says: "and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority". Jesus made a way for us to have a relationship with God, thus giving us a new identity in Him which completed every part that is lacking. Keeping our gaze on Jesus will absolutely proclaim Him and a surrendered heart that flows into a life of serving Him will be used to accomplish things that we might not ever see this side of Heaven.

Love Jesus. Follow Him. Persevere through all of life's journeys. Steady your gaze on Him not in hopes to do extraordinary things; but rather to love Him deeper! The work He does in you and through you because of it will carry into eternity.

One.

Recently on the way back from a road trip I got stopped for about two hours due to a horrible wreck. The kind of wreck that's got you holding your breath because you know there is at least one fatality; but hoping for a miracle that there isn't. Traffic was backed up bumper to bumper for three miles and most of the cars in my area including myself were completely turned off. Several of us were outside of our cars, walking around and talking as we tried to figure out what happened. At one point ambulances that were called to the scene couldn't get through, so many of us turned our cars sideways into lanes to make a path for them. Some of the people that I met and talked to agreed with me that our area looked like the main picture from The Walking Dead:
        

As we made our way back to our cars because the road was going to be opening up soon, I got to experience something pretty cool. One guy that I met in a truck next to me was on his way back to UAB and he stepped up to lead the people around us to merge and get back into lanes without causing anymore accidents. He was in the middle lane and from his truck directing with arm motions: "Okay, now you go forward" "Yes, I'll let you get over and then you move forward and I'll let this person in" "Okay, now you merge". It was so cool to see everyone work together for a common goal: to get home. For a short time it literally felt as if we all knew each other and shared a common bond of well and wanted each one to succeed and make it home safely.

For some reason it made me think of the church today. I'll let you draw your own conclusions about the church day; but for myself I am burdened in many ways. One of my favorite Bible verses is Ephesians 4:4:

There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call—

As believers we're all made one by the one Spirit that was sent to us because of our hope and belief in Jesus. Being stuck in that back-up traffic helped me to view this truth in a different light. Our goal should be to help us all make it our eternal goal, loving and encouraging each other a long the way. It should look more like people working together whether they know each other or not, to help them get farther than they currently are without letting them get too banged up a long the way. In order to do this, it can only genuinely happen as we grow closer to God.

Something that I'm praying for myself, local church and believers as a whole comes from Colossians 1:9-12:

 For this reason also, since the day we heard of it, we have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience;joyously giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in Light.

Will you join me in praying that God will show us and strengthen us to love and work together to make it home?

Prodigal, there are open arms for you!

Do you ever feel like your prayers are somehow sent to "the wrong place" and God doesn't hear them? Have you ever looked at a situation and felt hopeless, that the hours you've spent crying out to God were a "waste"? Okay, so we know that our prayers aren't going to the wrong place. And we know that time spent with God is not a waste, but sometimes it feels that way!

I found myself in that place recently. I told God and a friend that it just doesn't make sense- being so burdened for something and praying about something for so long but not really seeing anything answered. I was processing with a friend about something that I've been praying about for seventeen years. I don't know if you've ever been here before, but I was at the crossroads: do I keep hoping that the prodigals in my life will return, or do I just write off in a sense and become a complete realist by saying "they'll probably always be lost, but I'll keep praying for them because that's the right thing to do?" Now, we know that writing it all off is NOT the way to go. But, at one point I think everyone has been there in some form at some time!

As I was having this deep conversation with a friend between the cars in the Starbucks drive-thru line (it was a Monday, no judgement), I was prompted to study the parable of the Prodigal Son, but in a new light: look more at how the father reacted upon the son's return. It's a pretty safe assumption that almost everyone knows the basics about the prodigal son, but just for the fun of it read Luke 15:11-32 below, and either mark or make a mental note about the father and son:

11 Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. 12 The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

13 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. 14 After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. 16 He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

17 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! 18 I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ 20 So he got up and went to his father.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. 23 Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. 24 For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

28 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

31 “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.32 But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

For the first time ever verse 20 stood out to me. How can his father see him from a long way off unless he was looking for his son to return? Okay, so maybe this isn't news to any of you, but don't steal my thunder, okay? It was encouraging to me! It was God showing me that it isn't black or white- it's both. You recognize that right now the prodigal is a prodigal, but you look for them to return... hope! I sat there and couldn't help but think about the gospel. 

If the father represents God, which I think it does, he was there to welcome the son home. Think about the son's response in verse 21 "The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son". The son was brought to a place of humility and recognized his sins. It reminded me of Romans 10:9-10:

"that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; 10 for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation". 

We all need Jesus. It made me love and appreciate God even more that on the day of the Crucifixion His mercy and justice characteristics made a perfect collision so that He could welcome us with loving arms.  

So, some things for us to do while praying for the prodigals:

1) love them: as much as they'll let you. This doesn't mean you look the other way and not speak truth. However it also doesn't mean that you are a judgmental jerk that makes them feel like they aren't good enough and that they suck at life (check out John 14:26). This is where I throw a big shout out to the Holy Spirit who is sufficient & will lead you in the best way to love them. If they aren't in the picture or not in communication, then the next best way to love is to:

2) pray for them: that God will soften their hearts and bring them to a place of humility where they will recognize their need for Jesus and come home. In His sovereignty God allowed the son to experience the situations that brought him to the place of humility. I don't think it's a wrong thing to pray that God will bring your prodigal to a place of humility. It is a hard prayer that I have prayed through gritted teeth, but I encourage you to trust God with this person! He created us all anyway- He knows what He is doing!

3) keep the hope! Don't ignore the reality of the situation. Keep living and following God in the direction He has called you to and put you in, but keep gazing far off looking for that person to return. We can always have hope. Psalm 147:11 says "the LORD delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love". We can always have hope when our hope is in the person who never fails, not the situation that does. 

Praying for prodigals can be refining for you, not just the prodigal. We must ask ourselves: do I trust that God is in control and knows what He is doing, regardless if it's on my time frame or not? Will I still believe that God is good because He is God, regardless if my prodigal never returns?

Praying for us all to "fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God". (Hebrews 12:2)

O Weary Wanderer, Find Your Way Again.

Have you ever had those moments where you have sort of lost something, but vaguely remember where it is? That feeling of “Ugh I knew it was there”! Well, to be honest this is how I’ve felt about myself for two years. If we’re being REALLY honest, I would also tell you that I’ve never really been myself. I’ve been: too scared, not bold enough, insecure, and any other lie from the enemy I’ve believed about why I shouldn’t be free. There are, however, a few people who have seen the real LT, in all my chaotic and ghetto self.  These people are few and far between.

When I moved here just over two years ago, I kind of lost myself for a little bit. You might be wondering what that means. When you find out will you tell me?! All I know is that the go-getter, sassy, outgoing, people-loving and strong person I was becoming went somewhere… without me! I could blame it all on the move, moving 6 times in 7 months, working 2-3 jobs before landing a full-time job, and trying to get connected. But to be honest I lived through that season like a boss (with the strength of the Lord of course. Did I have my moments of breakdowns? Yes. I have a list of people you can check with to verify. But for a 20-year-old girl moving away from family I dominated that experience. (just sayin’).

However 2013 was a mind-blowing year of spiritual growth… And that is saying something after 2012. You can read a little about that experience here. Not that I’m trying to over spiritualize everything, but I think that part of “losing” myself was part of a much bigger plan God had for my life. See, in 2011, just weeks before I sporadically moved and jumped into a new life I was part of an amazing internship that rocked my world. Essentially it is great as a discipleship tool in your own life but also equipping you to be a disciple maker. You can learn more about that internship here. During that internship I remember praying and asking God to please help me experience all He had to offer to me. I wanted to have a relationship with Him like David did (minus all the crazy things David did).

So at the beginning of last year I panicked a little when I realized I didn’t know who I was. I could sense in myself changes and I didn’t know why. I felt trapped because I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t just be myself and why I was closing off from the world. It was irritating and no one has time for that! The point is this: my identity was never grounded in Christ. I could tell you all the things the Bible tells us we are as believers; but knowing these truths in a way that was being lived out was another story. I had been living and believing lies about who I was. God was HONORING my prayer from two years prior. He was allowing me to fall apart in a sense so that He could refine me to be myself and all that He wants me to be, but from the right base (which is Christ)!

And it might sound dumb, but I don’t care- I’m owning it! Last week I decided to make some mini valentine’s day bags filled with chocolate. As I was doing that I realized “I’m back!” And it’s not because of something I’m trying to do in my own strength either; it’s been through having the right view of who I am and having a right relationship with the person who created us!

There are still lots of things I’m thinking through and trying to figure out, but I just wanted to encourage you with these things:

1. Check yourself before you wreck yourself. Make sure your view of yourself and of others is through the right lenses. I’ll give you a hint. It starts  with B and ends with i-b-l-e. If you are living from a belief that is not with the Word you are NOT free. 
2. Being lost isn't always a bad thing. If you are in a season of feeling lost, and maybe it’s not about who you are but something else, it’s not always bad! It’s how you handle it that will bring different fruit. Seek God, pray, stay in the Word and live by what you know is true. There are good seasons and not so good seasons. Don’t believe the enemy when he tells you that if you aren't always in a good season that you are a bad Christian. Perservere! It’s a good thing J